


In All Our Imperfections, We Are Perfect

by FrerardKilledMyPanda



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Awkwardness, Deaf Character(s), Eventual Fluff, I'm not funny, M/M, Trans Male Character, attempted humor, first fic, lets be serious high schoolers are immature and make lots of sex jokes, of course it's awkward they're teens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-04-02 20:08:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4072846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrerardKilledMyPanda/pseuds/FrerardKilledMyPanda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank is starting at a new school and hoping that this fresh start is just what he needs.</p><p> </p><p>12/29/15: I couldn't sleep so I edited all the chapters to the best of my ability.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Enter Awkward High Schoolers

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, a disclaimer: I myself am not deaf but I know a bit about Deaf* culture and ASL grammar and that kind of shit. I read a few other fics that dealt with Deaf* character(s) and they drove me crazy because nobody used sign names, they just said you point to the person and that's their name. Didn't anybody ever tell you that pointing is fucking rude? Also not all people in the Deaf* community are completely deaf, some are just hard of hearing and some just have massive hearing loss, and don't even get me started on cochlear implants. Those mother fuckers who have cochlears are brave as fuck because people are afraid of what they don't understand and they are able to wear them every damn day.  
> Anyways I should stop ranting, but I will say this; Deaf* people are not fucking toys, they are people and they deserve a little more respect than they are given today. Please try to be more aware that some of the things you say, whether you mean it that way or not, are extremely offensive and belittling.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank's first day, and he attempts to make friends and is kinda successful?

"Frankie, hurry up! It's the first day, you can at least pretend to give a shit."

"Ma, calm down. I'm eating. Or would you rather have your only son starve to death before he gets to see the splendor that is Belleville High School?" I say, taking my sweet time chewing my pop-tarts.

"Look Mr. Smartass, you're lucky that you are even able to go to this school after what happened at the last one." My mom has a way of saying things that makes you stop and look at her, most of the time in shock or anger. Honestly the woman has no filter and I have no idea how she is a therapist because if my therapist was anything like her, I probably wouldn't have a therapist.

"Ma, we agreed we wouldn't talk about that anymore. We both know it wasn't my fault and it's in the past and there's nothing we can do about it now so we should just forget that it happened in the first place."

"I know, and I'm sorry. Now get your ass in the car or we're going to be late."

***

Switching schools is a bitch on a good day. Today was not a good day. I swear, people know more shit about you than you know about yourself. For instance by the time I get to my advisory period, I have had many people ask me what's is like to be in an all deaf gang. I must have missed that part of my life somewhere because I don't even think I've met a real gang member before.

Things in advisory are much easier, mainly because of the fact that none of the other students in the room can hear (except for the few kids who are getting ASL tutoring but they don't count because they aren't actually in this class) and things aren't really awkward. You don't usually notice that you feel uncomfortable until you go someplace where you're entirely comfortable. I know I only had two classes before this but the hearing kids always stare and think that you can't read lips enough to know that they're talking about you. But most of the Deaf* people I know are amazing at reading lips and feel shitty when they have to ask the interpretors to repeat something or interpret a question they have because they know that people will then have a reason to stare.

As I settle into advisory, I'm approached by a very feminine looking guy with generic, flippy, skater hair and snake bites. He's hot but I'm pretty sure he's trans which is cool unless you want your relationships to eventually come to the point where you occasionally have a dick in your butt.

"Hey, you must be Frank. I'm Mel, and before you ask, yes. I am the hottest and most awesome friend you will make here." 

"Yep that's me and being Frank, I'd have to say that you are not at all my type." Mel seemed like the type of person I could end up being great friends with but seriously, he didn't pass as well as he thought he did.

"Whatever could you mean, dear Frank? Are you trying to say that you don't find me attractive?" Mel puts on the fakest shocked face I have ever seen on a human.

"Sadly yes, I hate to be a downer but," since I'm not a complete asshole, I lean in and shield my hands from others, "I noticed you have a distinct lack of dick and that just isn't my thing, you know?" I leaned back to see Mel having some sort of seizure, only when the distorted dying whale sounds registered in my brain as laughter did I relax.

"Duuuude that's hilarious. And while I appreciate you trying to be discreet, everyone already knows. And don't worry, I'm not into dicks, unless of course you have a spare that I can surgically attach to my crotch?" 

"Sorry, I'm fresh out. I'll let you know if I find one though." I'm so glad that this didn't end as awkwardly as most of my conversations do.

We start talking, ignoring the fact that this class is specifically designed for doing homework, and come to find out Mel is fucking awesome. He, unlike myself, was born deaf and has two sisters and a brother, all of whom are hearing. He admires the fact that I have and use my cochlears, some of the other kids at school have them and don't use them because they're ashamed of them or they're afraid that they'll get made fun of.

Mel also has awesome taste in music with bands like Misfits, Motionless in White, Blessthefall and a bunch of other cool shit like that. My taste is somewhat similar but more eighties and nineties centric. I'm not gonna lie, most of the reason I like that music is because I don't have to care about the words or melodies, I can just feel the beat and rock the fuck out.

The lights in the ceiling signaling the end of class start flashing, so Mel and I grab our stuff and head for the door. Suddenly I'm being pushed aside and knocked into one of the tables nearest to the door.

"Hey!" I say, using my voice because I notice it's one of the hearing kids that pushed me over.

"Oh, um I'm s-sorry, I ju-just don't wanna be late. Sorry." The kid's kinda cute, quiet as fuck so I have to read his lips but cute nonetheless. He's got longish black hair and looks like the kind of kid that would rather read than acknowledge the existence of other human beings.

"Look it's no big deal, next time you want me to bend over a table just ask." Fuck, I didn't mean to say that out loud. And judging by the look of the kid and the teacher, I said it a bit louder than I should have.

"I-I...I...um...I'm just gonna go now." Dammit, I scared him. I didn't even learn his name and I scared him with loud sexual propositions.

"Wait, what's your name?" He flinches, fuck I need to learn some volume control.

"G...h...d." Of course, he says it with his head tilted down and really quietly. I literally have no idea what he said.

"Well I'm sure your name is lovely but I'm deaf and you're quiet so I don't think that this is going to work unless you actually look at me when you talk." His head shoots up at this.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry. I d-didn't know you just t-talk so well. Oh fuck, I'm an asshole, well I'm Gerard, but I'm an asshole named Gerard. I'm gonna stop talking." He is now half assedly signing and making flappy motions with his hands and his face has turned an alarming shade of red.

"Frank we have to go, Ms. Dixon's class is on the other side of school, and trust me you don't wanna be late to her class." Mel looks deadly serious about it and I figure I should wrap things up.

"Alright jeez I'll be there. Don't worry about it, Gerard. I mean I thought you would catch on because I'm pretty sure I yelled at you for a while there, but honestly I'm glad you think I talk that well. It was nice meeting you Gerard I hope next time we see each other both of our actions are less violent and awkward." He waves and rushes off, seemingly relieved to be set free.

"Dude I thought he was gonna piss himself when you told him you were deaf. I can't believe you got him to talk to you, he barely talks to the teachers." Meh says that like I've just done the impossible.

"Calm your tits, I'm just a very likable guy. Everyone wants to talk to me." He's got to be exaggerating, the guy has to at least be a junior there's no way he's gone this kind without talking to any other students.

"Boob jokesare off limits, they make me uncomfortable. But seriously, Gerard only talks to others when completely necessary, that's why he's taking ASL." Wow, a hearing kid who doesn't want to speak at all, it's not unheard of but it makes me feel good to know that he's willing to speak to me.

"Alright shithead, let's get to class so I can die of boredom, before you make me feel so invincible I try to jump off a building or something."

"Either way you're gonna die."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...the dreaded first fic.  
> I have no life so I should update this pretty regularly.  
> I would enjoy seeing feedback to feed my habit of wanting the attention of random people on the internet.  
> And also because I want to know if my teachers were lying when they told me I have "talent" and that I'm "creative" and "passionate".  
> That's all for now.


	2. Teenagers Know What Sex Is, And Some Of Them Actually Have Sexual Relations.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank is a little shit, Mel is a bit of a whore and Gerard doesn't like to talk about sex.

It turns out Mel is in all but two of my classes, which means from advisory until the end of the day, I have a snarky guy with a vagina slipping me notes and signing inappropriate things behind people's backs to try and get me to laugh. He manages to get me two detentions and I've only known the guy for maybe three hours.

By lunch he's driving me a little crazy but he's going to introduce me to some of the other Deaf* students. He seems kinda nervous, like something awful is going to happen. I have faith in myself and try to shake him out of it. Then I realize, unlike what I'm used to, it isn't about me.

As soon as we see the table he's asking me how his hair looks.

"Seriously, your hair is rad as fuck. Just because it's not an awesome faux hawk like mine, doesn't mean it's not cool." He looks a little pissed but he takes a deep breath and continues walking to the table.

Upon his arrival several girls roll their eyes and turn away to ignore him. One girl, however, peeks over her shoulder intermittently, blushing every time. Mel just smiles back bashfully, but he doesn't try to talk to her. Interesting.

***

When we finish eating Mel takes me on his version of the tour of the school. He shows me the best places on campus to skip class and the best ways to get off campus to skip class. It's wonderful, I have never found school more educational in my life.

"So, who's your girlfriend?" I ask innocently while we walk to the arts building.

"Who? Girlfriend? What are you-how could you tell, fucker?" He's looking at me like I just said that I wished the world was run by butterflies and unicorns.

"You guys were super obvious. Mostly you, you were basically eye fucking her across the table. Who is she?"

"Her name is Briar, she's really fucking awesome but we can't tell people we're together because I fucked all of her friends." He looks ridiculously happy saying this and I don't know which part makes him happier.

"All of them?"

"Every single one."

"Dude."

"Honestly, I have no problem with us being out in the open but she doesn't want to until she knows."

"Knows what?"

"I have no idea, but I do know that she's different. Ever since I met her I haven't slept with anyone but her."

"Why not?"

"I didn't really feel like I had to."

"You're whipped, bro."

"Am not!"

"Yes you are!"

"Maybe a little!"

"Have you told her any of this?"

"Define told..."

"You haven't," I'm petty sure the noise I made was very unattractive, somewhere in between a groan and his name, "Dude you have to tell her. I won't be able to sit with you guys ever again."

"I'll tell her soon, now isn't time."

"I might kill you if you don't tell her."

"I swear maybe like next week. Yeah next week I'll tell her."

"You better keep your word, manwhore."

***

While Mel is showing me the practice rooms for the band kids, I spot Gerard. He's sitting in one of the practice rooms reading and lightly bobbing his head to whatever music is playing through his headphones. I let myself into the room and Gerard mumbles something without lifting his head so I am left standing there awkwardly waiting for him to look up.

It takes a while but it was worth it. When he realized it was me his face turned pink and he just kind of started at me looking like he had a million questions and couldn't figure out what he wanted to ask first. Finally, he pulled an ear bud out and returned to his natural slightly pink but still quite pale color.

"A-are you lost?" Oh God, he's so cute, he sounds genuinely concerned.

"Nope, I was learning about the many ways I can avoid educating myself in this fine institution, when I saw you through the little window on the door there. I decided that you need company, so here I am." OK so maybe I was being loud, he looked really anxious and was peeking around me.

"Thanks, I guess but we're kinda not supposed to be in here and you're talking really loudly. So, like, while I appreciate the gesture, can you like, go away?" His voice got quieter as he spoke and I had to rely on my amazing lipreading skills to catch the end of it.

"Come on man, I'm deaf! I can have a silent conversation with you and nothing can go wrong. I pinky promise if anything goes wrong, I will take full responsibility." I hold out my pinky and wiggle it at him.

"What about your friend, he has a really loud laugh and it could get us in trouble if he laughs too hard." He looks at Mel who has just been watching all this with a pleased smirk plastered on his face.

"Leave." I didn't think he would actually leave but I'm pretty glad he did or I would've never seen the adorably flustered, helpless look that Gerard threw my way.

"Why do you want to talk to me anyways. I'm boring, I never do anything and I'm really awkward." Gerard slips easily into signing, like it's easier for him to sign than it is for him to speak.

"I honestly don't know, I mean you're cute and I'd totally bang you right here right now if you were up for it, but I feel like there is definitely something about you that would be worth sitting through many an awkward sit down. I'm gonna be the person to find out what it is." He's staring at me again so I probably offended him or embarrassed him. I'm just like my mom, not a single fucking filter.

"I...I...I really don't know how to respond to that." At least this time he doesn't stutter.

"You don't have to respond any certain kind of way, just tell me every single detail of your life." Success! I got a giggle, I'm pretty sure it was a giggle. If it wasn't a giggle it was probably tourettes. 

"OK, but can we learn about you too? It's only fair." I try to think of stuff about me that'll make me seem cool but I'm drawing a blank.

"I mean sure, but you have to go first because you're prettier." Smooth, Frank, smooth.

"Isn't it supposed to be age before beauty?" Fuck, he's right.

"Yeah but I don't know how old you are so..." Alright, that was a good save but he's pulled some confidence from God knows where, I gotta keep my cool.

"I'm eighteen, your turn."

"I guess the age before beauty thing is inaccurate then."

"Why?"

"Because you're hot and older."

"Oh."

"When's your birthday?"

"April ninth, you?"

"Halloween."

"Liar."

"I'm serious."

"Sure. Favorite color?"

"Green, you?"

"Red."

"How many people have you dated?"

"None, wh-"

"Are you a virgin?"

"Why do you try to make me uncomfortable?" That caught me off guard, I do the heavy interrogating not the other way around.

"Because you answer more honestly when you're nervous. My turn, why are you shy around everyone else?"

He opens his mouth to answer, but closes it as a confused expression settles on his face.

"I wish I knew."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it's awful, I can't sleep so I figured I could torture you a little.


	3. Fuck It, This Is A Mess And We All Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank makes progress and there might be some feels.

When I get home my mom isn't there so I'd decide to see how long I can sit mindlessly in front of the TV before my brain melts or something.

Turns out I can only sit like that for about half an hour. Daytime television is the absolute worst thing to ever happen to planet Earth. Well maybe not, but it's pretty close.

I go up to my room to see if there's anything the internet and social media can offer me to relieve the awful boredom that comes with being alone. 

Tumblr has lots of cool movements, memes, and porn but I get tired of it after a while. 

I don't know why I have a Facebook, if people knew what I did with it I think they would be a little more hesitant with accepting a friend request from me. I spend about an hour looking through Mel's pictures and laughing at all the bad haircuts he's had in the past few years. Not surprisingly, Gerard doesn't have a Facebook that is easy to find. But I do find it.

It isn't all that interesting, to be honest but I'm sure that's only because there's nothing on it. Like NOTHING, nothing. He has one profile picture, and all of the things on his timeline are spam posts that other people tagged him in. I don't think he actually uses his Facebook. It's disappointing but I send him a friend request anyways.

Much to my shock, almost immediately I get a notification telling me that Gerard Way and I are now friends. I decide that I should probably continue the conversation from earlier and pull up Messenger on my phone.

Me: With the way you acted at school today, I didn't think you would accept.

Gerard: Why would you think that?

Me: Half of the time you looked like you were being tortured and the other half you went back and forth between being passive or slightly pissed

Gerard: Oh...sorry

Me: Seriously don't worry about it. Soon enough I'll be begging you to calm the fuck down and shut up, I'm sure of it.

Gerard: How would you know that, you know like nothing about me.

Me: That'll change too I promise. And I can just tell, there's no way (pun intended) that you are just some quiet kid who isn't awesome as fuck.

Gerard: And what if I don't want that to change? I never said I wasn't awesome as fuck, I just said I might just be the quiet kid.

Me: It's already changing and we both know it. Nobody who signs as boisterously as you is a quiet boring person. I'd bet you're an artist. 

Gerard: ...who told you that?

Me: I'm right?! If fucking knew it!

Gerard: Seriously how did you know? :/

Me: Idk I just kind of noticed that your signing is really good and precise and sure and the only hearing people I know with signing like that are artists. What do you do?

Gerard: I didn't think you were watching that closely, you were looking at my face the whole time we were talking. I draw and paint, I usually do comic book style shit.

Me: Never underestimate my abilities, young one. You have to bring some of your work to school tomorrow and show me I bet it's amazing.

Gerard: We've already established that you are the younger one in this...thing. When I said I do shit, I meant it. My work is awful

Me: Did you just admit that we have a thing? You did. Also do not put yourself down because I can argue with you for hours and hours telling you how wrong you are and I can be very creative.

Gerard: WHAT! NO NO NO. I meant like this isn't quite a friendship or anything yet so like it's the thing before friendship but I didn't know what it was called so I said thing and now I guess I can see how you misinterpreted that...

Me: So you don't like like me? :(

Gerard: I also did not say that

Me: So you do like like me? :)

Gerard: Omg, you do not pay attention, I didn't say that.

Me: So where do you stand when it comes to liking my face and other parts of my body.

His reply doesn't come as fast as they had before. After five minutes I still don't get a reply but I know that he has at least looked at it. My brain decides now is time to go over all of the shittiest reasons why he wouldn't respond to that.

Me: Are you gonna leave me to assume that you don't like me at all and that you were just being nice to me today because I'm deaf. Please tell me that you aren't that asshole.

Gerard: Of course not I just didn't know how to answer your question. I still don't.

Me: Good, well not good that you don't know how to answer but good you aren't an asshole. Just answer it as if you have all the confidence in the world and we've just met.

Gerard: Easier said than done.

Me: Dude you're killing me!

Gerard: Can I think about it? I kind of hate being put on the spot and it's making this really hard.

Me: That's what he said. You set yourself up for that. Fine you can have time but I would like an answer as soon as you find one.

Gerard: You suck

Me: You wish (maybe)

Gerard: I'm gonna go do homework and contemplate my feelings and some other boring emo stuff, talk to you tomorrow.

True to his word, he gets offline and I am left to over think everything a little. He definitely likes me, either that or he's lying about being an asshole who's only being nice to me because I'm deaf. But he really doesn't seem like the type, I couldn't see him hurting anyone like that. Oh well, I guess I'll find out tomorrow.

***

I try to find Gerard in the morning but he's nowhere to be found. Mel tells me to stop being weird and socialize with people that actually appreciate my company which again makes me wonder about Gerard's intentions. I force myself to think about something else because that makes me sad and I hate being sad first thing in the morning.

When I see that Gerard isn't in advisory, my heart sinks a little but I figure he probably couldn't get a pass to come here anyways. Yeah, that was probably it.

When lunch rolls around I search the whole school and he really is nowhere to be found. That fucking hurts. He probably never liked me. It's just like last time, I should've known. All hearing guys are the same, they pretend to be your friend, get you thinking that they might be different, and as soon as they realize that you might like them as more than just friends they drop you with no warning. At least Gerard doesn't have friends, he can't go tell anyone about the pathetic gay deaf kid who falls for the first guy to show him attention. 

Mel tries to cheer me up, but I don't really want to be cheered up. I need to feel this so I never make this mistake again. Seriously what the fuck was I thinking?

No, hold on. This isn't entirely my fault. Fuck him. Fuck Gerard Way and fuck Mike Strobeck and all of the other assholes who find it amazing to fuck with people like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so I realize now that I started writing this because I was pissed and tired and I guess I'm very motivated when I'm in that state. What I'm trying to say is, this is gonna end in maybe two or three chapters because I kind of don't care anymore but I'm not a quitter and I could not abandon this on such an awful cliffhanger.  
> Then again I could be lying to you because it's like 7am and I have been awake since noon yesterday and everything seems very intense right now.  
> I'll keep you posted.


	4. And You Can Cry All You Want To, I Don't Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank and Gerard have an uncomfortable but necessary talk.

I haven't talked to Gerard in a few days. The first two days it was unintentional, he just wasn't around for me to talk to. The past three, however was me blatantly ignoring him.

The first day, he would approach me and I just wouldn't look in his direction. I could still hear him because of my cochlears but I tried my hardest not to pay attention to him.

The second day I conveniently "forgot" to wear my cochlears. Whenever Gerard came near me I closed my eyes so I couldn't see his pathetic excuses and the fake tortured look in his eyes.

Mel tried to convince me that it wasn't what it looked like, that it was just a misunderstanding but I knew better. Soon Mel stopped trying to convince me and started trying to distract me.

"Briar and I are gonna go to the skating rink, it's rock and rollerskate night. There will be awesome music and we can find you a hot guy to take you mind off of...you know."

"I don't want another guy, Mel. I want to just disappear."

"Come on, we haven't hung out in for fucking ever! Besides in case you forgot, I kind of broke the promise that I made to you..."

"What promise?"

"I haven't told Brair that I think she's the most amazing person I've ever met and all that other sappy shit."

"And that matters to me why?"

"I seem to remember a death threat if I didn't tell her in a week and I was going to tell her tonight but I kind of need help because I have enormous plans for this and I was kind of hoping my best friend would be up for helping me set this up."

"Okay, fine but I'm only helping because I don't want to be the reason Briar wastes her time not actually dating you."

"YEAH! Dude you're the best, seriously thank you. I don't think I would be able to do this without you."

Mel and I start talking about a few different ways that he can ask her out and tell her how he feels that don't make him seem desperate or corny. We eventually settle on asking the DJ to play her favorite Bruno Mars song and clearing the floor so that it's just them out there. When the song ends he's gonna take her to the bench along the edge of the rink, get down on one knee and ask her out. I think that it will go perfectly and they'll be really cute together, and hopefully my bad luck with relationships isn't contagious.

***

Knowing the DJ makes arranging things like this a lot easier and according to Mel, the DJ is a friend of a friend. The way he said it was cryptic as fuck and made me kinda nervous but when Talking To The Moon came on and everyone left the rink, I forgot about my friend being a creep and instead focused on his romantic side.

Briar looked a little shocked and uncomfortable at first then she just smiled and grabbed Mel's hand. They skated and talked for a little while every once in a while Briar would look at him with a mix of confusion, happiness and shock on her face. I saw her ask him to be serious a few times but she was never upset. 

As the song drew to a close, Mel started to pull her to the section of bench near me that was decorated with fake flowers and ribbons. Just as Mel was getting on his knees, someone grabbed my hands and took up a similar position in front of me.

"Frankie, please just listen for a second."

"Why, so you can lead me on a little more? So I can get hurt again?"

"No, so I can explain myself and get you to stop hating me and then maybe, just maybe you'll be my boyfriend."

He can't be serious, right. I want to believe him but I know I can't let him in again.

"Frank I think you should hear him out."

Mel and Briar are standing there with pleading looks on their faces. 

"You guys knew about this didn't you?"

"We just wanted you to be happy, Frank. Gerard has been worried about you for like a week, and you haven't been doing so well either. I couldn't have my boyfriend's best friend feeling like shit and making my boyfriend feel equally as shitty because he couldn't do anything about it." Briar has never said that much to me at one time before and I'm a little surprised that she was behind all of this. Then it hit me...

"Mel literally just asked you out and you were THAT concerned about some in who you weren't even dating?"

"Yeah, about that...we kinda lied about that to get you to come out tonight, I mean you were so out of it the first time he asked me out I figured it would do you some good to see someone have the balls to ask the person they like to be with them." Well fuck, my best friend got a girlfriend and I didn't even notice.

"Can we get back on track? Frank, Mel told me about what happened at your last school with Mike and I'm sorry that you went through that but I thought you knew me better than that. I could never do that to someone, especially if that someone was you." I really dont want to believe him, but he looks so sincere and I honestly can't see him doing that to anyone.

"How can I trust you? How do I know that this isn't just another prank for your sick amusement?"

"Would your best friend cooperate with me to create all of this so I could ask you out if he believed that I would hurt you?" He's always got a point dammit. Mel and Briar are looking so hopeful and I'm starting to fell myself give in. But I can't, I need him to tell me what was going on while he was gone and ignoring me.

"If that's true why did you leave, why did you not respond to all of my texts and messages until I was ignoring you?"

"At first I was trying to figure out how I felt and when I realized that I liked you I just didn't know how I felt about it, I mean I had assumed that I was straight. And then, I decided to tell my dad and he didn't take it well." He pauses and looks down, when he looks back up at me his eyes are red and he looks like he might start crying, "He took my phone and kept me at home and pray so I wouldn't be "tempted to sin" and when my mom got the call that I hadn't been at school for two days, and couldn't reach me on my phone, she came home right as my dad was trying to baptize me in the bathtub. When I told her what was going on she told me to go to my room. I heard them fighting for a long time and then the front door slammed and my mom came in to tell me that her and my father were getting a divorce because she couldn't be with a man who can't love his own child the way they were born. We couldn't find my phone and it took a while to get my new one activated. I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you any of this sooner, I really am. I understand if you don't believe me but I still need you to know that you are the best thing that has happened to me in a long fucking time and even if you dont want to date me I would be honored if you would be my friend." He takes a deep breath when he's done and stares at me with his stupidly gorgeous hazel eyes.

"Fuck Gerard, I'm sorry too. I was an asshole and I didn't give you a chance. I didn't even consider that this wouldn't be easy on you. I don't think we're ready to date yet but of course I forgive you. Could you ever forgive me for being a colossal idiot?"

"Hey, do not put yourself down because I can argue with you for hours and hours telling you how wrong you are and I can be very creative. Do you remember saying that? It applies to you too. There is no reason for you to need forgiveness and like I said, it would be awesome to just have the privilege of calling you my friend." He smiles and pulls me in for a hug.

"OK, now that you guys are talking again, can we get some pizza." You can always count on Mel to take a sweet moment and make it entirely platonic and somehow about food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short but the next chapter is probably the end and I just thought this would be better off by itself so it didn't take as much attention from the end.


	5. I Hate How Endings Make Me Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's s the end, you guess what happens here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the major lack of update. We're experiencing a heatwave and there have been several brownouts in the past few days and I felt like my brain was melting.

In the months following our make up, Gerard and I got really close. Not close the way I wanted but I wasn't going to complain.

We could usually be found at my house on weekdays after school with my mom trying to get us to do homework, while weekends were spent at his house where his mom would kind of let us have free reign of the first floor.

This weekend we were having a horror movie marathon and Ms. Way had ordered us some pizzas then went upstairs, leaving us with a warning that if we got too crazy this would be the last time we did this.

"Don't worry about it, she says that every time I do anything." Gerard always knows when I get rattled, even if I try to hide it.

"I know I just dont want her to hate me." Instead of speaking to him I signed, just in case his mom came back down and overheard.

"She could never hate my only friend, honestly sometimes I think she likes you more than she likes me."

"That's not even possible! Forget the fact that she's your mom, you are seriously the best person I've ever met. I might be a little biased because I also think you're really beautiful, but I still know you're amazing." I think I may have crossed the line of what is acceptable to say to someone who is just a friend because he's staring at me and he kinda looks like a fish, his mouth opening and closing. I know he's not saying anything because I'm wearing my cochlears and he's too close for me to miss any sounds he makes, but it freaks me out for a second. "What, why are you staring at me like that?"

OK so my cochlears are working, I heard myself. What's his deal.

"Gerard, you're freaking me out a little."

"Sorry I just...you make things a lot harder than they should be." He looks away and I think he might be blushing.

"That's what he said." His head snaps up and he's glaring at me like I'm evil incarnate. "Sorry I can't help myself. What did you mean by that anyway?"

"It's nothing, forget about it. Which movie do you wanna watch first?"

It looks like he really doesn't wanna talk about it so I decide to drop it for now.

***

After about five movies I'm ready to call it quits. I get up to get blankets and pillows from the closet at the top of the stairs. As I'm coming back in pretty sure I hear Gerard talking but I brush it off and go in the kitchen to get some water before I return to the den. Before I can get a cup down I hear Gerard talking again. 

"Fuck! Why am I so stupid? Probably because he's cute, I never have been able to think right around attractive people." He's sitting upside down on the couch, head hanging to the floor, feet sticking up over the back. It sounds like he's taking to himself but he could just be on the phone. "I should just fucking ask Frank instead of acting like I freak shouldn't I? Yeah I probably should. But how the fuck do I do that, I have no social skills whatsoever. I should ask Mel. No not Mel, the little shit sucks at secrets, maybe Briar? Fuuuuuuuck!"

If he's not taking to Mel or Brair, who is he talking to? I already know he's taking about me and I feel a little bad that he's this distressed over our situation. I should probably stop eavesdropping. I make a plan to help him out with his dilemma and I go back to the stairs, putting my feet down a little harder than before on my way down.

I walk into the den with all the pillows and blankets and arrange them on my half of the couch before settling in and pretending to go to sleep.

"You didn't bring me any?"

"There were no more."

"Well can I have at least one?"

"Nope, I did all the work, I get all the coziness."

"This is my house and those are my blankets."

"Yeah but I walked all the way upstairs and made this comfy spot on the couch and I would be ruined if even one thing was misplaced."

"So what am I supposed to do?"

"Sleep with me."

"I...you...wh-what?"

He keeps stammering and saying half sentences but makes no move to join me, so I grab his hand and pull him down next to me. Once he is situated, I wrap my arm around his waist and close my eyes.

"F-Frank? What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to cuddle you asshole, now shut up and hold me."

After a few seconds his arm comes up and finds a place near my elbow to rest. I can feel his heart beating a mile a minute.

"Frank? Why are you doing this?"

"Because I like you and you like me and we suck at talking but I was getting tired of pretending to be OK with just being friends. Based on the little conversation you were having with yourself a few minutes ago you feel the same way."

"Oh, OK. Frank?"

"What, Gerard?" At this point I'm happy with the progress we've made and I'm ready to sleep.

"It's just-does this mean you're my boyfriend?" He sounds so hopeful that I can't be mad at him.

"No, it means you're MY boyfriend."

"That's the same thing!"

"Sure, whatever you say, pal. Go to sleep."

"OK, fine. But, Frank?"

"Jesus fucking Christ! What, Gerard?"

"Can I have a goodnight kiss?"

I look up at him and he's got the cutest, most innocent look on his face. I've never been all that good at saying no to him.

It's not a sexy, or steamy, or passionate kiss. Its sweet and probably only lasts about four or five seconds, but those four or five seconds left my heart flying. I think I might love this boy but considering that was our first kiss and we've only been dating less than five minutes, I'm gonna have to say it's too soon to tell him that.

He falls asleep soon after that with a small smile on his face. I decide in that moment that I never want to see that smile leave his face.

***

**GERARD'S POV**

"Gerard, wake up! You're gonna be late you stupid asshole."

Someone is banging on my front door and yelling at me. I feel like a normal person would say that is a strange way to wake up but I'm not really a normal person. I wake up like this maybe four out of seven days a week.

Stumbling through my apartment I open the door to find Briar standing there in a god awful blue dress.

"What am I late for today, gorgeous?"

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because she hits me with the small bag she's holding repeatedly.

"You're marrying one of my best friends today you idiot!"

OK, I can see why she's mad but come on I haven't even had coffee yet, I'm surprised I even knew who she was.

"Gerard, you are so lucky that I live across the hall or you probably would have missed your own wedding and we'd have to convince Frank that you still love him AGAIN. Honestly you guys have been together for what six years, and he still doesn't get it?"

"Its actually seven, but who's counting. I just need to get dressed and drink some coffee and then we can leave."

"I dont think so, mister. You get in the shower and actually put some effort into this. Frank is deaf not blind, and there will be pictures. Do you really want to show up with your hair looking like that?"

"Like what?"

She turns me around to face the mirror by the front door and I understand what she means. Half of my hair is flat against my head and the other half is sticking up in wild tendrils, all of it however is greasy in the worst possible way.

"Alright, fine. I will shower but only if you make coffee."

She rolled her eyes and headed towards the kitchen. "We have forty-five minutes before we have to leave. Be quick or I'll come in there and make you quick."

The thought of Briar being near me naked puts enough of a fire under my ass that it only takes me half an hour to shower, dress, style my hair and drink two cups of coffee.

***

**STILL GERARD'S POV**

When we get to the church I realize that weddings are boring even if it's your own wedding. There's a lot of waiting and trying not to puke and general unease that leads up to the moment when someone tells me that I can go stand in front of everybody.

As I'm walking out to meet Frank at the altar I try to ignore the room full of people, most of whom I haven't spoken to in many years and I'm guessing that after this I won't speak to again for many years in the future.

Next thing I know I'm standing up at the front staring down at my extremely attractive fiancé waiting for the priest to tell me that I can say my vows or whatever it is I'm supposed to say first.

Its the vows, he's asking me to say my vows and I flounder for a second because I forgot what I wanted to say.

"Um, hold on a second." I take a deep breath and look at Frank, "OK I'm good. So Frank, we've had a lot of moments where you have doubted whether or not I truly had feelings for you. Hopefully after today, those feelings will no longer exist. Even if they do, I will always be there to prove you wrong, even when you're being a stubborn asshole and ignore me in the most creative ways possible. I love you and no matter what I will never leave you, or hurt you and I promise I will do my best to protect you from any type of harm that may come our way because nothing bad should ever happen to someone as perfect as you."

I wish I could've held his hand through all of that but we decided that we would speak as well as sign our vows so everybody knew what we were saying. Frank looks like he's about to cry and I'm definitely holding back some tears of my own. Now its Frank's turn and I dont think I'll be able to hold them back while he's talking.

"I can't believe you called me an asshole in your vows! But then again you always surprised me. From the very beginning it was hard to pin down who exactly you were. At first I thought you were shy and didn't want to talk to me or anyone else for that matter. I quickly learned that you were snarky and just really picky bout who you hang out with. I don't think we would work if neither of us were so stubborn. We probably wouldn't have gotten past our first fight. Like you said there were many times where I felt like I couldn't trust you, but please know that it's never your fault and even when I tell you I never want to see you again I don't mean it. Slowly but surely I have come to realize that if you stuck around this long, through all of the things we've been through, you're either an idiot or you really love me. Since I know you're not stupid, I just want to say that I love you too. There is nothing that could make me stop loving you and there is nothing in the world that we can't get through together."

I didn't last a minute; after he started talking, my eyes got blurry, my nose started running and eventually big, fat tears of joy were rolling down my cheeks. Frank's smile could probably replace the sun, with how big and bright it was in that moment.

The rest all kinda blurred together. As cliché as it sounds, it felt like there was nothing in the world except me and Frank. I don't remember saying I do, or even hearing Frank say it, for that matter. Apparently we did because the priest has announced us husbands and is encouraging us to kiss.

Much like our first kiss it isn't the most erotic kiss that anyone has ever had, but it is sweet, filled with love and the promise of more to come. I myself can't wait to find out what the world has in store for me and my beautiful husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to apologize again for the delay in writing this chapter. I would also like to apologize for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes in the whole series, there is no beta to blame it's just me and my clumsy fingers.
> 
> Thank you for reading and not being mean in the comments.
> 
> XOXO - DeadPanda

**Author's Note:**

> Another disclaimer: I have dyslexia and I typed this on my phone. There is probably a shitload of errors in here because I don't have a beta and I write when I can't sleep so basically this is probably kinda awful. Still feedback is greatly appreciated.


End file.
